Personal Digging As I’m preparing to climb Kilimanjaro I find myself in a place where I’ve never been before. I feel like the only thing to do in this situation is hold onto God and not look left or right. It takes everything inside me to stay focused and on track without being diverted with thoughts and fear.
Mentally Knowing what’s coming is not easy. I’m not scared of climbing the mountain, don’t get me wrong. I just know what’s coming and the fear of not finishing can creep up and take over completely. I try not think of the little things but a mind is a powerful thing and I constantly have to divert my thoughts from something that could be negative towards something more positive. Something more bearable. This in itself is constant hard work, work within myself and it’s taking its toll. I believe in myself. I believe in a powerful God. I believe I can do anything I put my mind to especially when I put my hope and trust in God, but then I find myself thinking of the “tough” things ahead and I want to go hide. I guess it’s normal, especially because I know so much. This is by far the biggest thing I’ve ever taken on and I am mentally and emotionally challenged every single day.
Physically I’ve had my fair share of physical issues. I’m currently dealing with the fact that I need to gain weight and I’m not. Look, if I don’t then I don’t and I have to climb the mountain with what I’ve got. But I would have liked to know that I have reserves tucked away somewhere. I’m training, but again is it enough? Am I training the right way? Am I preparing my body for what’s coming or am I just overthinking it all?
Emotionally Emotionally I feel strong and positive except for those little thoughts of the kids I’m leaving behind. I’m also going to miss my eldest daughter's ninth birthday, which is a big deal.
Exhaustion I had a thought. How do I climb a mountain feeling the way I do. I’m physically exhausted. We are finishing week seven of the school term, I’m launching my new Muppie Lounge range next week and there’s still so much to do for the week after I get back from climbing the mountain because I head straight to Aardklop. I work till eleven twelve at night, up early, train for hours and just never sit and do nothing. I know this is all normal for adults, it’s what we do. We go and hardly ever get a moment to breath. But I’m not going to rest before the mountain, in fact the closer the time comes, the harder I’m pushing which means less sleep, more training, more school tests and the list continues. And I have no choice. I just have no choice, now is the time to push and give everything I’ve got. This all leads to just one simple result - exhaustion.
God Is Here
God is here, I feel Him. He is watching over me and He is my strength. I felt defeated this week and got the most amazing message from a dear friend and it was a message straight from God.
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