I am thankful November, I'm a mom.

November, 4th

I am thanful for September 2009. It's a girl. After a long nine months (I couln't wait for her) and seventeen hours of labor I finaly felt what love at first sight was. The moment I layed my eyes on her, I knew she was a gift from God. It was incredible. I didn't want to share her with anyone, even my husband had to figth for the baby. It was perfect, better than what I ever dreamt of. I am thankful for this light in my life. Her name, Nika. I fell in love with this name long before I fell pregnant, I got it in the movie, Shooter. It means "bringer of light" and that is exactly what she did. She was the light at the end of a long and dark tunnel. I am thankful for her life, I am thankful that God chose me to be her mommy. She is a shinning light, a dreamer and lover. She loves with deepness and compassion in a way that I haven't seen, her soul connects through love for others and I am thankful that I'm learning more about love every day through her actions and ways. She changed me. Holding her in my arms for the first time made me a better person and it made me want to be more. Thank you Nika.

November, 5th

I am thankful for January 2011. It's a girl.  Everything with her was unplanned. Nika was only seven months old when we found out we were going to have another baby. I cried again, this time because I wasn't ready but as I said in my previous post, God had to teach me that life was not in my hands. Roxy came nine months later, her birth was scary as my epidural didn't work and just as I thought I was going to die, she made her appearance. From the first moment I saw her she was Nika's complete opposite. She still is today. A focused young lady with passion and a feisty personality. Roxy means dawn and bright, which is exactly what she is. I am thankful for her, she is my little right hand, my mini me. She thinks like me and acts like me. She is always around me, keeping me company and helping me. I am thankful for the life that she brings into the house, she is loved and adored by so many and I am so grateful for that. Thank you Roxy.

November, 6th

I am thankful for September 2012. It's a boy. Roxy was only nine months old when we found out we were going to have another baby. This time I was on the pill but clearly God thought I still needed more training in understanding who the giver of life is. I was so tired with two babies and eighteen months of pregnancy in such a short time that I told my husband if it was a girl, that we are done. Around 10 weeks the doctor told us that it is very possibly a boy and was confirmed at forteen weeks. Another moment with God. He does have a sense of humor. He was my biggest baby, 4.3kg at birth. I know right, when the doctor told me how much he weighed I told them to put him back, I can't do it. Luke, my first boy. His name means light giving.  This little man crawled so deep into my heart and touched me in a different way. He was the biggest but stayed in that tiny little bundle for weeks which made him my little cuddle baby. I am thankful for his helping heart, his beautiful love for me and his special little ways. He's a little perfectionist and gives me belly laughs all the time. I am thankful God gave me a boy. Thank you Luke.

November, 7th

I am thankful for August 2013. I would never have thought this back then, but looking back I can honestly say I am thankful for the baby we lost as a family. I had a miscarriage at ten weeks and although this was the biggest emotional loss I have ever dealt with, it taught me compassion. I am thankful that I understand what it is like to love someone so much that it hurts, long before you even meet. This baby will always be apart of us and we speak about it all the time. My kids especially. (Our baby in heaven) Once again God showed me that He gives and He takes life, and He showed me we can't control things that's not for us to control.

November, 8th

I am thankful for August 2014.  Three months after the miscarriage we fell pregnant again, this time I was thankful in a different way. I knew how fragile that little life was and I appreciated every second of it. Our final addition to the family and he was perfect, our Kelvin. His name means narrow river but if you go deeper into the meaning it means he has a deep inner desire for adventure, they want to set their own pace in life without being governed by tradition. Kelvin slowed me down. I am thankful that he got me to a place in my life where I became "chill" and didn't worry so much about what the world said was right. When you have four small kids running around, you kind of have to find your own rhytm in life and try fit everything and everyone into 24 hours, but you also learn that if you don't that tomorrow is another day and everything will be okay. I am thankful that Kelvin is still with me at home. I am thankful that I've enjoyed my last baby for two years at home in the mornings. (I had all the kids at home for the first three years but Kelvin was alone for nearly two years until 12:30pm) I am thankful for his cuddles, kisses and little adventures. Thank you Kelvin.

I'm a thankful mommy, loved and adored by four beautiful children. God has blessed me with much more, greater and better than what I could ever have  planned  for myself.