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Writer's picturetheresedeklerk

Desperate Mom Needs Desperate Measures

Updated: Jun 5, 2023

The Issue - Time Some days we only get home after 5 and then we haven’t even touched homework. Why? Well because I’m the homework teacher and I’m the taxi mom. This isn't something unique to me! I know for a fact that everyone in my circle has this same problem. Our town is small but if I stop at tennis for instance, it’s not worth my while to drive home and start homework just to drive back to tennis five minutes later to fetch the little tennis player. Most of their activities are only half an hour long. Sometimes I don’t have much choice. I have to leave because I have to fetch one of the others while the other one is busy. It’s literally impossible to be in two different places at the same time. I’m running in circles trying to catch my own tail. Yes,  like a dog.

The Real Issue - Why Can't Kids Be Kids Anymore? That’s not my main issue with this whole set up. My real issue is that I am sick of my kids not having time to be kids. I’m tired of Monday to Thursday being one big rush, no time to talk, laugh together, play or anything like that. Why? I have to ask myself the question. Is it really worth it all? Does it really matter? Do they really need to do all the things they do? I have two boys who are not in "school school" yet, and it feels like I have nothing of them between Monday and Thursday. Not only is this unfair towards them, but also to me. I love spending time with my kids. I love playing with them. Gosh sometimes I just want to veg in front of the TV, but there’s no time. My Grade 3 daughter, Nika, gets so much homework. It is literally two hours of homework a day. And then when she writes a test she still gets that two-hour homework load! I kid you not! Since Roxy started Grade 1 in January,  I’ve lost all sense of order. It feels like I’m swimming in the deep end all the time. I’m sending my kids to school with the wrong work done, sometimes we don’t do some homework. Other times I lose their tests, because yes that also happens. Stuff comes home that we have to sign and send back the next day. That takes time as well, a lot of time.  I’ve swapped their lunchboxes, we’ve arrived at school with no bags, we’ve even missed important dates. And I know I might sound very self-assured when I say this but I’m actually a very organised parent and person. I have to be. I have to know which kid, what day and where. It’s just so much that I’m not sure if I’m coping ... or and this is a big one ... OR maybe I’m doing it wrong?

The Plan What if I stop everything for an entire term? What if I tell my kids, I will fetch them from school and we will come straight home and stay home? It almost sounds too good to be true. Remember, this is three against one! I mean they won’t mind certain things I’m sure, but my girls won’t be happy loosing piano lessons. What about hockey? Choir? Scouts? Tennis? These are the things they love! I’ve stopped all dancing and ballet, I just couldn’t! But what if I stopped everything and choose life? Quality of life, instead of what we are doing now? Existing. Rushing. 

Will It Make A Difference? See here’s my only problem. If I cancel everything they won’t get their awards at the end of the year. If I cancel everything and decide to go back after a term, I would have to fight for new time slots because mine will be gone. This could result to even later evenings. I mean can I win? How can you test a theory if you can’t even test it? My kids don’t do excessive stuff, really! The problem is that while they are all chilling at home I’m driving a child to something and waiting in the car. Sometimes they will come with me and keep me company, but who wants to spend hours in the car every afternoon? Not me! Certainly not them! If we have major tests happening, we study in the car, but I can’t take more than one at a time. We are limited with space and they need to concentrate. I feel like I need to figure this out before next year because then I’ll have another child in school. Another little person doing more than his two little things a week. How on earth will I cope?

I Need Advice, I Need Help! There has got to be an easier way! I need help! If you have older kids and find yourself in my shoes, please share with me how you cope and what you do? How do you make it through each day in one piece? And am I the only mom out there that gets stuff wrong? Please let me know in the comments below? I can't be the only one in this situation. Can I?


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