As moms we don't take time. There is no time to take time.... until the time comes!
I needed a minute. After saying good-bye to my favorite sister for probably forever, spending an entire weekend in hospital next to my husbands bed, dancing competitions and homeschool I decided to press on the pause button. I decided it was time to take time.
My dearest mommy came to take care of the kids and Barry. I jumped in the car and started my weekend with doing my hair and then moved on to all my favorite furniture places. (Window shopping is good for the soul.) It's a passion inside me that will never die, once you study design it will always be a part of you. I went out to a nice French lunch for one and checked into my hotel room just after 3. I know right, every moms' dream come true. What did I do?
Before I even unpacked or looked out the window I fell on the bed and slept for 2 hours! By the time I woke, the sun was basically gone, but I needed the rest. After the past year, I've not just been tired , I've been drained and tested to the bone. You know, life happens when you don't take time.
I spent the rest of the day watching movies that I would never watch with the kids, eating Italian food, my favorite and reading. On Saturday I stayed in my room and pjs until way past 11. I am excited to say I started working on my next book and if all goes according to plan I should finish the book before the end of the year. That was the main reason for getting away.
I do have to say that it is a very emotional book to write, but it is a little too soon to say more about this new project.
As moms we need time out, I know taking an entire weekend is a luxury. I haven't done this in forever. And since I've been mom, nearly 14 years later I can count the amount of times I've done this on one hand.
It is what we do. We keep on keep going. When we have a moment we spend it with the people we haven't seen in ages. When we take time we gift it to someone or something else. We hardly ever choose ourselves. We are never first on the list. Even this weekend for me wasn't about me taking a break, but rather about sorting my mind for my next book. And as this will be my fourth book, this will be the first one I took time out for planning and writing.
I came to the realisation that we are called to do certain things but it won't always be easy. Some times during the toughest times in life, God will call upon us and reveal things that will touch so deep it could feel like a stabbing knife, but He will be there. The best guidance, friend and father we can ever hope for.
I was excited to return home on Sunday morning, once you become a mom it is never easy to leave them behind. I think a lesson I am still to completely learn is to understand I need time. It is important to put ourselves on top of the list also. Life happens and once it does its like a runaway train.
Mommies, wives, girlfriend... gift yourself with whatever your body is telling you. If you need a break, it is because you need a break. You don't have to have an excuse or a reason. If we want to give our families the best, we have to be in our best shape. And one thing I've done over the past couple of years, I've taken care of everyone and everything but myself.
See yourself. Love yourself. Not on occasion but every single day. You are worth the investment because burn out is just not worth it. Even Jesus needed time alone, away and surrounded by the stillness of God's voice.
Just sometimes it is necessary to take off the super hero cape and see yourself in the mirror. We live once. And you are worth the best chance.